How to Deal with Your Anger

Anger is a universal problem. I have observed it in the primitive cannibals in Irian Jaya, uncivilized Indians in the remote jungles of Brazil, illiterate people in tiny villages deep in the forest of Zaire, my playmates when I was a child, in my parents, church members, pastors, highly educated people, the very rich, people in government, and yes, even in myself. Call it what you will: mad, angry, frustrated, annoyed, perturbed, ticked off – all of these words represent a form of anger.

You cannot decide to be angry. You can take elaborate precautions to avoid being angry. But, alas, sooner or later anger underneath your skin is triggered by a memory, someone’s behavior, a conversation, a phone call, or a letter. It can cause your heart to beat faster, make you sweat, tense up your muscles, foul up your digestive system, alter the way you think, dictate how you act, and trigger negative words from your mouth.

There seems to be universal agreement that anger must be tamed. Yet there is vast disagreement over the cause and the cure.

I have been aware of anger within me as far back as I can remember. Usually I could ignore it, express it safely to those people like my parents, swallow it, or work it off in various activities like tennis or basketball.

The first time that I was conscious that I could not manage my anger occurred in my late twenties. At that time, I had a boss who kept me riled up most of the day, a wife who persisted in frustrating me by doing things her way rather than my way, and a tiny toddler who irritated me constantly by simply wanting my attention when I didn’t want to give it. These three people backed me into a corner. They didn’t even know it.

They forced me to face up to the fact that there was something in me that was activated by them and turned me into a person who said things I was sorry for, did things that I regretted, thought things that frightened me, and caused my body (heart, stomach, and muscles) to malfunction.

The solution came for me when I was convinced that I was helpless and needed to be saved from myself. The Bible described my condition exactly: “Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it”(Romans 7:20).

This sentence sums up what almost everyone says when they come to counseling with an anger problem: “My anger is a normal and justifiable response to the way I was treated.”

No one inquires about the possibility of anger being a sin in their hearts. That word has almost disappeared from their vocabulary. These people seek relief from restlessness, nervousness, anxiety. Their buzzwords are “stressed out” or “burned out.” They are disturbed about their relationships to with their spouses, children, other family members, social contacts, and people at work or church. People admit anger reluctantly. If they do admit it, they are quick to justify it.

Individuals do come to seek advice when they are the recipient of someone else’s anger. For example, a wife will talk to me about her husband: “When in a good mood, Ted is a pleasant person to be around, but if you catch him when he’s mad–look out. I can tell his mood by the way he shuts the door. If he nearly breaks the window in slamming it, I brace myself for his first gripe.”

And come it will, followed by other complaints. “Why don’t you make those kids keep their bicycles out of the driveway?” “Turn off that TV. There’s racket enough around here without that thing adding to it!” “Women drivers! They should it be kept off the highways after 3:00 in the afternoon!”

It is my observation that almost everyone resists calling any kind of anger sin. Multitudes of people (including me) have faced up to problems such as drinking, swearing, or stealing as sin and now it’s behind us. It’s been dealt with.

Dealing with anger is different. You can be completely and totally repentant over your anger. Confession leads to welcome relief from tension. I suspect that most people experience some anger every week. You think you have dealt with it, and it shows up again.

I have observed that one difficulty in dealing with anger is the wide range of intensity with which it can be expressed. On the one end there is such extreme anger that it leads to violent physical abuse or even murder. We have no difficulty recognizing such anger as sin. But on the other end of the continuum is anger that is so mild as to be almost unnoticeable. This “annoyance level” of anger is easy to ignore; for example, mild frustration at a child who won’t make his bed, at a nearly empty gas tank in the car, at a traffic light, or at an impolite clerk.

You can compare anger to the flow of contaminated water into a tub. A wide-open faucet yields the same kind of water as a dripping faucet. One drop at a time will gradually fill a tub if the drain hole is plugged. It may take weeks to fill the tub with contaminated water, but eventually there will come a time when one more drop will make the water spill over the top. All that water came from the same polluted source.

Extreme anger is easy to recognize and impossible to ignore. The body pumps adrenaline into the bloodstream, causing the heartbeat to accelerate, the blood pressure to rise, the mouth to become dry, the muscles to become tense, the mental faculties to become alert, and the emotions to become disturbed.

A drop of anger is not as easy to recognize. To put it another way, it is easy to ignore. Bodily changes are hardly noticeable, but the effects are cumulative. The symptoms are anxiety, restlessness, tension. Drops of anger build up in the body. Eventually, one more incident (major or minor), and anger spills over the top. I listen to people who are puzzled over certain responses that surprise themselves:

“I heard myself screaming at the children to come into the house.”

“I was so mad I actually hit her. It was over which tie I should wear.”

“He lives a thousand miles away. At times when someone mentions his name I am fully consumed with anger in a matter of seconds.”

What Biblical advice is there about the management of anger? Take a look:

For the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God. (James 1:20)

Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. (Romans 12:19)

Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. (Ephesians 4:31)

It seems clear to me that the Bible is telling us that God expects us to tackle the problems around us with His love in our hearts.

Read on:

But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you. (Matthew 5:44)

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her. (Ephesians 5:25)

And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4)

Honor all people. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the king. (1 Peter 2:17)

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? For! am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:35, 38, and 39)

The difficulty seems to be: How can a human being, who naturally responds angrily to the circumstances of life, change from responding in anger to responding in love? Humanly speaking, we must admit that this Biblical advice is impossible to attain.

We all know that to bottle up or swallow our anger is not the solution. Bottled-up anger can ruin your health and twist your thinking. When we suppress our anger, it often simply flows out of us upon one more provocation – often in an explosive way.

The Bible offers a radical solution. The solution to our anger is humanly impossible. We need supernatural help. We must go to God!

Step 1: Recognize Anger as Sin

The Biblical prescription for dealing with destructive anger is precise and strong. Strife, malice, hatred, outbursts of wrath, dissension, contention, and the like are works of the flesh–of the sinful nature (Galatians 5:19-21, Colossians 3-8). They are sin, and that’s good news because there is a divine solution for sin. God promised to help you. Dealing with sin is His specialty. Acts 4:12 says, “Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved.”

A simple step that gives you a source of strength to “stop” angry responses is to invite Jesus to come into your life.

Yet many competent, able people have a hard time accepting the fact that we need supernatural help. “I can manage my anger. Isn’t that good enough?” It certainly beats exploding. But the best you can do is to manage your anger. Only God can help you to “stop” because anger is sin. Therefore, you need a Savior who will cleanse you of your sins.

It is not inevitable that we must spend the rest of our lives struggling with anger. It can be “put away.” Once we accept the fact that anger is sin and we need a Savior, we can practice a simple Biblical directive–daily, if necessary: “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

Anger is sin. It is destructive. God will cleanse the anger out of our hearts.

Step 2: Replace Anger with the Fruit of the Spirit

When you have a forgiven, cleansed heart, you can ask God for the power of the Holy Spirit to produce the fruit of the Spirit in your life as described in Galatians 5:22-23: love, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.

You will still have problems, face injustices, and encounter difficult people–as everyone does. You will still need to be energized, alerted, and motivated to correct what needs correcting. But a Christian knows that a person energized by the Holy Spirit with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control has the strength to conquer the bitter, sarcastic words; anxiety; bodily tensions; and violent behavior that formerly characterized him.

A Christian does not always surrender to God perfectly any more than he can manage himself perfectly. Few people make it through any given day perfectly. But with God’s help, you can catch anger at the earliest possible point.

An elated, middle-aged gentleman told me this story:

Mike had made a poor decision that cost his company thousands of dollars. His boss called him and severely berated him over the phone. A contrite man hung up the phone and it rang again. It was his boss’s boss, who proceeded to berate him also.

Mike felt himself becoming angry. Without interrupting the conversation, he repented and prayed for a peaceful heart. Before the conversation ended, he was fully relaxed.

When you realize you have sinned, take it to God. Our response to people and circumstances on the outside of us constantly reminds us of the condition inside us: an imperfect spiritual life which seems easier to justify or deny than to face.

We have the need for daily renewal of our dependency upon God. No one is exempt. There is none righteous. There is no human remedy. Daily dependence on God for help does not gradually change to self-sufficient independence. You should deal with anger as sin just as soon as you are aware of it, regardless of how mild your response is. Confession and repentance pull the plug and cleanse the heart of any anger lurking there. Do it as often as necessary.

2 Corinthians 9:8 shares these wonderful words: “God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work”.

And that is the good news for everyone who is filled with anger and malice and bitterness. The people in your life may never change their ways. Circumstances may be beyond your control. But fortunately you can do something about yourself. You can open your heart to God, who is able to fill it with bountiful grace. But whether you allow God to give you His grace is your decision.

Strangely, most people who seek counsel will argue that they have the right to be angry. “Under my circumstances, can you blame me?” they will say in stout defense. Of course they have the right to be angry; but as long as they argue in defense of their wrath, they will see no need nor have any desire to change and thus be delivered from the unhappiness of anger.

One of the most-quoted verses in the Bible is Ephesians 4:26: “Be angry, and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your wrath.”

My clients uniformly declare that this verse means that their kind of anger is not sin. That may be true … but I don’t think so. There is a part of that verse that is not debatable. Call your anger righteous if you will; this verse says to get rid of it by sundown.

How do we experience anger and not sin? The same way Jesus experienced anger–if we are walking in union with Him and in the Holy Spirit–by not allowing the sun to go down on the anger nor allowing the devil a foothold. Once we allow anger to become a motivating factor in our lives, the warning in James 1:20 applies: “for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”

There is no human remedy. Only God can cleanse your heart. God commands us to walk in His Spirit. We are ordered to love evil people

A certain couple came to visit me. The lady sat there seething with animosity toward her husband. She had just learned that he had been unfaithful to her throughout their 30-year marriage. There were dozens of other women involved. Her husband sat there looking very contrite. He had a long history of deception, hypocrisy, and satisfying his lusts.

He claimed to be genuinely repentant. No one would believe him. They said he was only sorry he got caught. He said his wife, who was normally a pleasant person, had become an angry, hateful, unresponsive person. She said it was his fault. He didn’t know what more he could do. He wanted to know if I believed him.

My answer? “God loves both of you enough to have sacrificed His Son for your sins and to give you access to the fruit of the Spirit. I love both of you, too, but I have no way of knowing the condition of your hearts.”

The good news is that her husband’s behavior could not come between her and God. She could call on God at any time and exchange her animosity for love, joy, peace, and kindness. All were available for the asking. Of course, she would still need to deal with her marital problem–even after a change of heart.

Her husband had the same access to God. He could exchange his sins for the fruit of the Spirit.

I have seen others sitting in the same chairs:

  • A woman unfaithful to her husband
  • A man who beat his wife’s face into a swollen black and blue mess
  • A couple who swindled some widows of tens of thousands of dollars
  • A teenage thief who is on drugs or alcohol
  • A man tormented by the memory of raping and killing a woman
  • A woman who walked away from her husband and children
  • A teacher who sexually abused some students
  • A couple who disagreed over money, social life, or how to manage children

I can go on and on. The range of human behavior because of sinful hearts seems endless. I suppose the most serious are couples and parents who neglect each other and their children.

God loves them all; none of these people deserve it. They are all sinners–just a prayer away from a new start.

Unrepentant, intelligent people believe that they can justify their anger because God gets angry. This is why they comb the Gospels for any shred of evidence that Jesus got angry. The term “righteous indignation” just blurs the issue. Perhaps ninety-five percent of anyone’s anger is plain, old-fashioned sin and we all know it. Anger plagues everyone. We should simply face it and take Jesus up on His offer: “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).

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Some 10 Red Flags In Relationships

Let’s face it, as soon as we get into a relationship we think it’s just perfect! Nothing in our lives has ever come close to something this amazing and it’s probably going to stay like this forever. But a few months later, when you both come back to the reality, when constant chatting and everyday meet up’s seem to lessen, that’s where you start wondering if this is the real deal.
If he/she is the one! And that’s where you need your emotions to take a back seat and plain ole’ logic play its role!
So here are a few things that I have personally experienced or have seen happen so many times. It’s the rule book for me now.

1. DOESN’T KEEP PROMISES

The first ever red flag that you will come across in a relationship is this. How often your significant other keeps his/her promise? Or even if they don’t, how often do they really try hard to keep them. We do not want to go crazy and start disregarding all the efforts that they make but just sit down and observe.
Do they promise too quickly before really giving it a real thought which eventually leads to an unfulfilled promise? If yes, then he/ she is someone who will continue to do that and you will end up being frustrated every time.

2. LAUGHING AT YOUR EMBARRASSMENTS

The second and one of the most painful red flags that you just do not want in your life.
It is a huge NO! As soon as you see this happening in your relationship, you either need to fix it or prepare your bags. Someone who truly loves you will never make you feel bad about something you already feel ashamed of. May it be your weight, your feet, the causes you support, the way your family is or your past.
We all carry that closet full of skeletons with us and someone who is ready to love you for life will accept you with it. If he/ she doesn’t, then their place is in that closet as well! At first try and talk it out, be very clear in explaining how much this behavior affects you. Hopefully that will change things but if they don’t then you should know that’s how it’s going to be all your life. Can you deal with that?

3. LOSES BALANCE – AN EXTREMIST

This red flag is one of its kind (which I have personally witnessed a really close friend go through). It is like the best and the worst thing that can ever happen to you. Such people would initially go out unrealistically out of their ways to do things for you. They would leave their friends and family just to be with you.
Nothing in their lives will ever exist without you in it, how ideal does that sound? But wait! Here is when it all comes tumbling down. No human would give more than they receive, eventually. They would soon start expecting you to do the same. Anything that they feel has even slight importance for you in your life will eventually become a problem for them. Naturally when someone gives up everything for someone they only have that one person now and they become extremely cautious about losing that person to someone or something.

Remember, it’s always good if your partner is striking the balance in his life.

4. KEEPING YOU OUT OF HIS SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNTS

As high as I am on privacy there are times where these small acts can really help you tell if your partner is hiding something or not. You shouldn’t go all Desperate-housewives on him/ her, reading messages or secretly logging into Facebook accounts to keep a check. All you need to do is observe your partner’s behaviour when you are in the room and he/she is chatting with someone. Does he get uncomfortable? You should talk it out with him, calmly. If he values you and wants you not to feel that way, he will let you in himself. If he retaliates and makes a fuss about privacy and that he has his own life etc, Be careful!
I needed clarity in a two years old relationship once; all I had to do was ask him who he was chatting with. It baffled him completely. I knew something was wrong that day!

5. TAUNTS YOU OVER A SECRET ONLY THEY KNOW

Every relationship has its fair share of fights and arguments. Every couple badmouths when angry but every couple has their lines drawn as well. We all tell our deepest secrets to our partners and expect that they would respect not mentioning them or reminding you of them. Yet, when your partner starts to bring them up in fights to humiliate you or to belittle you, know that, that’s the red flag you don’t want!

If a person tortures you with the things he knows will hurt you the most, STOP. Just stop!
They don’t deserve you.

6. ABUSIVE

RED FLAG RIGHT IN YOUR FACE!
There is no explanation that I need to give to tell you how wrong this is. May it be physical, mental, verbal or emotional it’s just wrong and no force in the world can make it right. No kind of abuse is OKAY. Someone who abuses you emotionally will soon start abusing you verbally. A person who abuses you verbally will soon start abusing you physically. There is no end to this. As soon as you see this happening it’s time for you to jump out of this plane. Don’t care if the landing will hurt, it’s supposed to. Don’t care about what will happen to you without him, you were fine before and you’ll be fine now. Just take a leap of faith because, trust me, ANYTHING you go through will be better than this.

7. LOOKS DOWN UPON PEOPLE

Red Flag Alert!
Even if you two are in that honeymoon phase, insulting someone inappropriately or belittling someone is a huge red flag for something that might happen in the future. People who do not respect others will eventually act the same way with you. At first you might feel you can take it just because you love your partner so much but everyone’s patience runs out at some point in time and then everything is too ugly and hurtful to even try working on.

8. CRIES A LOT

As small as it seems to be.
This is one of the best fore-telling red flags in a relationship. Regardless your partner is a man or a woman, crying on every small thing tells a lot about the person’s nature.
Not that crying is bad, it’s absolutely normal to cry from time to time for men and women, both.
It only gets alarming when your partner cries whenever it’s their fault or whenever you confront him.
Crying usually is an easy way out of things for such people. I know this because I have dealt with this, seen this again and again. To avoid conflict, to not be blamed for something they did wrong. How?
Well, it’s easy, what do you do when a person is crying his/her eyes out… You let the thing go.
If that’s how every conflict ends in your relationship either get use to letting things go or let this person go once and for all.

9. TAKES YOU FOR GRANTED

Never ever take things your partner does for- granted and let yourself be taken for granted as well.
Everything you do, even if it is the millionth time should be appreciated and if not appreciated at least shouldn’t be taken as your DUTY. Make it clear to your partner that whatever you compromise on or do, you do out of love and respect for them. Once your partner takes you for granted there is a long list he/she will have of the things you never did for them. You will always be too much of that or too less for this.
You will always feel incapable and insufficient and that’s not how you are meant to feel.

THE 10th FLAG: SIMPLE EXERCISE I ASK COUPLES TO DO!


You have just read everything you needed to know, yet still in your heart you want to be clearer. So here is what you do! Sit back, take a deep breath. First of all, know that you’re going to be fine no matter what happens. Things will go on, that’s how it works so don’t be scared of thinking out loud at the moment. It’s just you who’s listening. Clear your mind completely and just take the name of your partner. As soon as you do that, what’s the first thing you feel? What’s that instant feeling you get? If it’s love, happiness, care… You shouldn’t let go. If it’s hurt, sorrow, fear, frustration… it’s time to let go.

Get Dirty

Storyshucker

I’m going to be dirty today.

As a kid, Mama often met me on the back stoop as I came in from playing outside. With a broom in her hand she’d have me slowly turn in a circle while she brushed dirt from my blue jeans. She wasn’t against sweeping my bare legs either if I happened to be wearing shorts.

“Don’t bring that mess in this house.” She’d say. “Did you plan to get dirty?”

Well no. I hadn’t planned to. I was a kid. There was dirt. We met and fell in love. The end.

I remembered that this morning as I thought about where to plant some things in the yard. I still love dirt. Not potting soil in shiny garden-center bags. I don’t care for the sterile smell of plastic and perlite. I love real dirt. Earth.

One of the finest smells of spring is that…

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It wasn’t her fault!!!

On one fine Saturday morning, I left for my usual football training. It didn’t go too well. I believe I had a bad day. A soldier like myself would expect a day to be as fine. There was total silence in the neighborhood since there was a ban on noise making for a while. 

The love of my life, my soul and helper came helping me at home and at about 7:00 that morning I left her to finish up. I would least think that my house could be a target for a robbery but well it happened. She was attacked. 

Men and I mean grown *ss men came in and broke into my apartment, took my dearest laptop which I used for Work and School. All these years of keeping the items I had on it of which you can imagine. She was frightened and with such, they broke in, had what they wanted and bolted. She explained she did all she could but all they left was a fake contact to be given to me on my arrival. Poor her. She would shouted for help but it was as though they cast a spell on her. 

She cried her heart out as though the item was hers but it is long gone and forever. I made her know it’s nothing so big to cry about and if she did it wouldn’t bring back the 2nd part of my life. 

I never till date opened my mouth to lay blames on her for any reason. The big question is, “What if she was harmed or even Killed while she may have tried resisting???  

I love my girl very much. Judge

DATING TIPS: Things the ladies should put a stop to.

  
1. Stop stressing about his exes. It’s a toughie, but it’s time to let it go. They are exes for a reason and unless he’s lying about seeing her and talks about her every waking minute… there’s no reason to think there’s still some wild passionate flame burning. If there was, wouldn’t they be together again?

2. Stop judging him on his job. As long as he can pay his own way and isn’t asking you for hand-outs, it shouldn’t matter whether he’s a stockbroker or a shelf-stacker. As long as he shows you he loves you.

3. Stop internet stalking him. Sure, if this is a Tinder date, it’s probably sensible to check you aren’t being catfished and that he looks like a normal human who exists in real life. But that’s where it ends. All you’ll do is learn a ton of stuff about him that you then have then pretend you don’t know.

4. Stop judging him on his living arrangements. Do you live in your own house that you own? Good for you. For most of us, living with parents/randoms/weirdos is inevitable until we win the lottery or move in with a guy.

5. Stop judging him on what he’s wearing. Shoes a bit gross? Hair a bit too gelled? Men don’t really GAF about clothes so it’s basically the girl equivalent of them judging us on our bra size. Dodgy t-shirts do not a bad boyfriend make. You know what they say about books and covers.

6. Stop applying stealth makeup at 6am. The days where you wanted to sneak off to the bathroom so that you look immaculate when he wakes up in the morning need to end NOW. It’s just your normal human face, if he’s repulsed by that – you shouldn’t be in his bed.

7. Stop trawling through his Facebook. Seriously, stop. Madness lies this way. It’s a universal fact that 90% of people’s Facebook pictures involve them looking like a drunken fool. What he’s like in actual real human life is what matters.

8. Stop wondering if the sex is good. Make it good! If you want to know what he likes, ask him. If he’s not doing the right things to turn you on, tell him (nicely). We’re all just humans, not mind-readers.

9. Stop stressing about the ‘right time’… to kiss, to have sex, to meet each-others friends. As long as it feels right for you, it IS right. If he really likes you, it won’t matter whether this stuff happened on the first date or the 50th.

10. Stop expecting giant romantic gestures. We’re not 14 any more. Maybe he doesn’t turn up at your door with a cute gift just because he felt like it or send you messages about how much he adores you, but so what? This isn’t Pretty Woman, it’s real life (sadly). If he makes you feel special and is kind and thoughtful, he’s a keeper. 

11. Stop waiting for him to ask you out again. GO AND LIVE YOUR LIFE. He either will or he won’t. Sitting by your mobile while checking signal and making sure it’s not on silent is a waste of time you could be dancing with your friends or binge-watching Netflix.

12. Stop trying to guess what he wants. WHAT DO YOU WANT? That is the actual question to be answered. If you want him to commit to you and he isn’t, sack him off and find someone who wants the same thing.

13. Stop letting him shove your head onto his peen mid blow-job. In fact, stop letting him shove you around in bed full stop. You’re a grown woman and you’ll blow if you want to.

14. Stop being crap at accepting compliments. If a guy goes out of his way to compliment you, enjoy it. It’s not sexy OR good for your own self-esteem to do yourself down.

15. Stop stressing about the minute details of his text messages. As long as he sees you when he says he will, replies to your texts and makes effort at actual conversation with fully-formed words, try not to fret over whether he’s put a kiss or when the blue ticks appear on WhatsApp. Guys are just not big into writing massive love confessions, but it doesn’t mean they hate you.

16. Stop trying to be sexy. The main word there being ‘trying’. If you spend hours debating how to sound flirty or feel pressured into sending x-rated pictures… something isn’t right. If he fancies you, he’ll fancy you anyway. NEVER let someone push you into doing something you don’t want to.

17. Stop being a bikini-line psycho. You know what we mean. Women have hair and even if you remove it, it grows back. If a man can’t handle you between shaves, he sure as hell won’t be able to handle a relationship.

18. Stop expecting him to complete you. The idea of finding your one and only other half that makes your life full is a lovely one. But a relationship’s only going to be happy when you’ve learnt to be an independent, self-sufficient lady who’s got her shiz together first.

19. Stop worrying about his baggage. Everyone has baggage – life is one giant bag and we’re all shoving stuff in it as we go. Don’t let what happened 5 years ago have an effect on what’s happening between you now.

20. Stop worrying about your body and what he thinks of it. If he finds you sexy, he finds you sexy. The more ‘you’ you are, the more in love he’ll be with the person you actually are. Plus, the sex will be WAY better. Trust.  

21. Stop trying to be cool. No-one is. And if he’s acting like he is, he’s faking.

OPEN MIND

Am not saying you guys should go ahead and sleep around. Respect yourself and your libido.

A girl asked her boyfriend…..

Honey! Why is it that a girl has sex with numerous guys, she is called a slut and she is despised but when a guy does same, he is termed a legend?

The guy answered…..

If a door is opened with more than one key, it becomes a useless door. No one wants to keep anything important or precious in a room with such a door. Apparently if a key opens more than one door, then it is a MASTER Key…..

My Advise:

Girls who are sleeping with a guy just to pay back their guys who cheated on them should think it over again. Respect yourself and your body.5837466528_open_minded_woman_thumb17343781_xlarge